Rest...What's That?!?

I'm currently training for a half marathon in December. So I'm in full training mode right now, and let me be the first to tell you, my legs are feeling it! If there is one thing they always tell you in running, biking, really any kind of training is....listen to your body and give it rest. Rest...hmmm....that's a funny word that doesn't really fit into my vocabulary. Lately, I have been pushing myself in all areas when all I really need is to create some time for rest in my life. But I'm Super Woman, right?!?? Please....don't bust my bubble.

I've been striving to do everything regardless of people asking to help me or me recognizing the need for me to receive that help. As a mom, I feel guilty when I leave my son with a friend or our family to go do something "fun" for myself and I miss my time with him. I feel lost without my time with my husband but need those times for girls night and time by myself. I need to take some days off from running and let my muscles and bones heal.  I need to hide myself in the Word and God and let Him carry my burdens for a little bit.

Soooo.....that means I need to find myself in God's rest, love and grace. I don't like that place, I want it my way and I want it right now. I need to stop...I need to stop everything and rest. I can't because that means I'm not working on something and nothing is happening. But in reality, things that are eternal, that I cannot see will be happening. I know it in my head, but I don't want my heart to feel it. I've been tired for a long time. I need to stop running, I need to take some days off, I need to rest in my Lord, I need to stop trying to fix things. But...it scares me because I won't be in control and I don't know what to do.

Every single one of these things, if I would rest, would allow me to come back a stronger mom, wife, runner, employee, and friend. So what keeps me from doing that? High expectations of myself and wanting to be in the drivers seat.  I don't like that place, I want it my way and I want it right now. Am I the only one that does that? I hope not, and I'm pretty sure I'm not. I focus more on the right now and just doing, doing,doing or going, going, going that, if I was honest, is really just a strategy to keep from being still and just be. I need to find myself in God's rest, love and grace and be renewed.

I've always had a thought that doing and moving means things are getting done. Well, they might be getting done but is it purposeful, is it messy, is it helping or hurting?? All things for me to consider when deciding when the time is to step back and rest. This idea of doing equals productivity needs to be further examined by me because within a proper balance it is good but any extreme to one side or the other and it become messy.

Rest is good for the soul, mind, body and me. God has been prompting me with looking at Psalm 23 and continually asks me "Pam, how are you letting Me be your Shephard?" I'll leave you with that as it paints such a great picture of my happy place...

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.