Giving to Others

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

It is always nice to be on the receiving end of a friendship. Something is going on, good or bad, having someone to confide in, and many more things that we love to get out of our friendships. I would argue that it is so much more of a blessing to be on the giving end of that relationship. (Granted, there is a balance of giving too much and never receiving for yourself, but friends, that's a WHOLE different beast to be covered another time).

The quote above I think sums up what a true and deep friendship would look like. 

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.

 I'm sure there are times in your life, just as there are in mine, times when you just aren't strong and wanting that leadership role. People may look to you for that role but its times like this a friend needs to recognize and come up from behind you and stand beside you. There have been so many times in my life where I was struggling to make it and probably just faking to make it, and someone has come along and carried my burden some. What would that look like for you...to come out from behind someone and help them? Is there someone in your life that you need to support in some way? They may be longing for you to step up, out of the shadows and carry them through.

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.

Now I'll confess, I do this alot in relationships. And I have learned over the past several months with a close friend that sometimes the best thing for me to do is to stop and just be with them. I love people dearly, God has given me that passion, but loving people unrestrained can create a falseness in your relationships. I love to come in and "Save the Day" but that may not be what people need. My family and close friends mean the world to me and I want to fight for them, but I need to fight with them. I have been broken in this lately and realized that I was doing this in order to be needed but I need to be doing this because the Spirit prompted me. Same results, but two very different approaches.

Do you need to step back and see the needs of others? What is your motive for walking in front of someone? Are you losing your friendship/relationship because you are focused on doing rather than being? All questions that help me.

Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Is this not the heart's cry of anyone and everyone? We all have a desire to be needed and loved. Many people long for someone to even just recognize their hurt or need and reach out to them. But many times we are wrapped up in ourselves, our families, our jobs, our lives that we forget to see the needs of others. What would walking beside someone look like for you? It's could be just small, consistent things that let someone know that you are thinking of them. Or, maybe they are on your mind so you call them or text them. Or it could be bigger things, crisis or need and they just need you to be there for them...not teaching, leading, encouraging, or pushing...just being there. There is something to be said of just being in the prescence of someone and journeying with them that can bring about more blessings than you can imagine. Does this open you up for hurt and pain? Absolutely. But there is something to be said of someone who can take a little bit of someone's burden for their own so they don't have to carry it all.

This happened to me this week and I was privelaged to be with a friend that was at a time of need. God taught me more about myself than I feel like I was able to give to her. I wanted to tell her many things from my experiences, I wanted to be physically present with her, I wanted to tell her its okay, or even fight the battle for her....but, that's not being a friend. All that was needed was for me to be still and present in her time of hurt and to be with her when the time was right. Any other approach other than walking along someone, in the mud and on the nicely paved road, is not what is needed.

Friends are valuable and vital in my life. My hope is that every day I leave my relationships better than when I found them. Join me in that...