A very humbling and scary question to ask of someone else. However, needed in alot of relationships as minor annoyances can turn into big misunderstandings and arguments in our relationships. This question has come across my radar a couple of times in the last few months through bible studies, email devotionals, or conversations and so I thought about it more.
This Friday, David and I went to Nacogdoches for a road trip to see his brother. On the way back, Matthew was asleep so we got to have a little time talking without dodging toys that were flying from the back seat. I took a chance..."David, what is something that annoys you about me that I could work on?" Immediately followed by "This is NOT a loaded question as I sincerely want to know." He responded that he didn't like it when I rushed him with things that are just for him. Such as softball, meetings, work, his time, etc. I don't mind him doing it but I want a time when he's coming back. When I asked what he would like for me to hear, it was "Have fun and I'll see you whenever you get back."
Easy enough. So I tried it on Sunday when he had a meeting at church. I didn't give him flack for leaving or need a detailed ETA. It was good, I felt good giving him that freedom and time. And, knowing that it bothered him so much was great for me to know because I could do something about it. It also allowed him to open up more when he came back.
Taking chances always has its risks. And alot of times we are hesistant to ask what negative things our spouses are bothered by. We, I, always want to hear the good things and be encouraged. But that is not realistic. I believe by David and I being candid about our negative characteristics has allowed us to be stronger, more trusting, and more open with giving encouragement because we work harder on things. It's good being challenged and loved deeply in a safe place.
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